The Vegetrons

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September 16, 2012 by hattersleysmith

Breezeless air rises as the sun pounds dust from the tarmacked paths, unflapping marquees tower over the hoardes as they stand gaping, breath-held, struck dumb.  The crowds gulp in unison, hearts drumming, eyes widening (in awe or sheer terror?).

Enter The Vegetrons.

(left to right) Joe Atherton, Derek Neuman and Peter Glazebrook

Meet the Boulder Cabbage, the Latitude-line Leek and the Mammoth Marrow (and their sidekicks the Not-so Tiny Tomato and the Not-so Puny Potato), all serving their Grand Master the World Record Breaking Odin Onion at 18lb 10oz as champions at The National Vegetable Championships at the Harrogate Autumn Flower Show 2012.

The hall in which they were settled (most likely purpose built, gargantuan air-hanger style) was packed with visitors and allotment-keepers from across the globe, hoping for a brief glance and to pay homage to these incredible Feats of Nature as they prepare (according reliable sources at for ‘the battle of the giants’.  I wished them luck in their green war as I too paid my respects.

A final word of warning to any wishing to take on the Vegetrons: if I were in your wellingtons, I’d steer clear, these bad boys are mean and green and probably bigger than you.  You wouldn’t want to cross them, even if you were a Wererabbit.


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