Britain’s Landscape brought to you by Amazon Prime Air (or Santa’s Existential Crisis)


December 3, 2015 by hattersleysmith

We should be reaching out with both arms to embrace the future promised by ye mighty advancer Amazon Prime Air. Figure-headed by beacon of joy, hope and gladness Jeremy Clarkson, this is a future that promises all the glory of instant delivery services for size three Puma EvoPOWER firm ground soccer shoes if you live within 15 miles of the nearest depot.

Amazon Prime’s current delivery service forces customers to wait until ‘tomorrow’ or, God forbid, venture to the high street. Britain’s patience has been tested to the limit, and this new fleet of delivery drones will undoubtedly provide us all with an unparalleled peace of mind that a replacement for whatever the dog has eaten is only a few clicks and a cup of tea away.

But aside from the foreseeable delight for millions around the country, it’s clear from the latest advert that Prime Air also promises to transform Britain’s skyline. I’m particularly thrilled by the potential of these machines becoming a stand-out feature of the British landscape, so I thought I’d create some images give you a snap shot of this sublime future:

Amazon Drone - Bamburgh

Amazon Prime Air drones zoom over Bamburgh Castle with a garden trowel, Fallout4 and Cards Against Humanity

Amazon Drone - Cotswolds

The Cotswolds can only be enhanced by Amazon Prime Air drones teasing the flocks with Lego City and a Kindle Fire

Amazon Drone - Kent

The Garden of England, Kent can’t wait for the sky to be dotted with Amazon Prime Air delivery drones fresh with a USB stick and Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Amazon Drone - Lake District

That’s why people love the Lake District – sublime views punctuated only by the gentle whir of Call of Duty, Connect 4 and a Minion figurine

Amazon Drone - Scottish Highlands

The Scottish Highlands make the perfect airspace for Amazon Prime Air drones which bring Christmas merriment, iPads, hard drives and Doctor Who box sets

Amazon Drone - Yorkshire

Finally Amazon Prime Air drones are poised to deliver etch-a-sketch, Instax film and electric toothbrush heads to God’s own county, Yorkshire

Amazon Drone - Santa

Although Santa is having an existential crisis at the prospect of dodging round Amazon Prime Air delivery drones…

UK regulations currently make the e-commerce giant’s vision a little tricky – drones are required by law to be within the eye-line of pilots and not fly without a license over populated areas – but surely the Civil Aviation Authority will give after a few fine dining experiences on Amazon’s last quarter revenues of $25.36bn.


2 thoughts on “Britain’s Landscape brought to you by Amazon Prime Air (or Santa’s Existential Crisis)

  1. Brian Greenhalgh says:

    I think you may have misunderstood how the world works

    • I actually do welcome the future, this will work in already noisy and air-crowded cities – I’m just not too keen on seeing and hearing drones dropping miscellaneous goods all round the countryside.

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